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Album Taping/ B-Day Bash!

imageAlbum Taping/ B-Day Bash! (Click for Facebook link)

Thursday June 5th:

This is the 3rd Bday bash/ album taping. Come out and have a good time with comics:

Garrett Jamieson, Rob Bebenek and Tim Nasiopolus.

At the Free Times Cafe (320 college st)

shows at 7:30pm and 9:30pm

AND it’s Pay What You Can!

 

Why you don’t make eye contact w/ someone talking to a crazy person.

I have realized there is a chain reaction to making eye contact with someone who is talking to a crazy person. You should avoid it at all times.

1.

SCENE1First you see a crazy person talking to a stranger.

2.

scene2

Next you will make eye contact with stranger and make this face.

SCENE3

It’s the I don’t know face…

3.

scene4.1

Crazy person now get’s off and stranger will tell you everything crazy person just told him/her (which by the way you also heard from the crazy person), and how they didn’t know how to end it. Remember this because you MADE EYE CONTACT! and now are bus friends…apparently.

———————

Hope this will help you on the bus, and remember keep your eye’s on the floor and there will be no unwanted conversation.

 

Money is Time… in a restaurant!

I was in a fast food establishment recently and noticed they had a sign that said “Sit time 20 minutes”.

That means I have 20 minutes to eat my food and leave, so  I was thinking I paid around $8 which is an average price  at a fast food place.

$8 bought 20 minutes sit time. So if you are ever curious about how long you can sit for while eating here is a chart I made for how much you money  you need to spend to stay in a place for a reasonable time…

eating

 

This sucks cause i’m a 60+ minute guy, with a $7 budget.

Check out the new Videos.

So I have been bored and tried to learn how to make cartoons. Here is my (very bad) attempt at one of them!

Screen Shot 2014-03-18 at 4.55.36 PM(click on image for video)

Here is my Blog on Procrastination

coollogo_com-2640664

I would of wrote more but I spent all my time making the title.

 

 

 

If Santa Claus was real he would STINK!!!

9 reasons why Santa Claus would stink if he was real:

Stinky Santa

Stinky Santa

1. He’s Fat.

2. He works with reindeers.

3. All of his employees are short so no one can really get a good smell of what’s going on.

4. He lives in the North Pole, and because of the constant cold, he never really sweats so probably does not own deodorant.

5. He has a beard.

6. He goes up and down chimneys all night.

7. He eats nothing but milk and cookies.

8. He wears the same clothes… All the time.

9. He smokes a pipe.

So next year, tell your kids instead of leaving milk and cookies, they should leave tooth paste and deodorant.

TIME IS MONEY!!! (In Comedy)

    Every once in a while someone will ask how much a comedian makes for a show and is shocked at the response, they are amazing at how much someone can make for really little to no time in their mind. I too found this pretty cool until I had the pleasure of taking the bus to a gig last night and when I am not just angry for no reason that I am on the bus, I am thinking. So I got to thinking about the gig I was doing and the age old question “Is it better to drive to a gig, or take the bus”. 

 So I started doing some number crunching and everything I did is from Google Maps and is best case scenario, meaning no traffic, no walking, no looking for parking, no waiting for buses, no bus break downs, no crazy people.

So let’s say I did a show at A University last night and made $250/30mins. At first glance that’s pretty good, $500/hour can’t complain, but there are for sure better gigs that I have been to, but this is the number we are dealing with.

 Now the annoying part (according to google maps)

DRIVING:

From my house: 31 MINS/ 1 way to gig (X2) – 62/mins there and back

62 mins(driving time) + 30 mins (show time) = 92 mins (total time)

250 (show budget) / 92 mins ( total time) = $2.71/min X 60 (1 hour) =

162.68 (per hour)

THIS MEANS MY $250 GIG FOR 30 MINS WAS ACTUALLY:

$81.34.

Gas (this is where is gets tricky number wise):

My Car Miles Per Gallon 17 City – 24 Highway

According to Google maps York is 25.6 km from my house (1 way)

25.6km / 1.6 = 16 miles ( my car is good for 17 Miles city so we are pretty much using 1 Gallon)

3.78/litres in a Gallon

3.78 X 1.35/L (gas) =$5.10 / one way

RETURN $10.20

250-10.20= 239.80 (Thats still $2.60 Per min with 92 mins total time) 

Parking

Free street parking. $0

Image

BUS

Google maps: From my house 1 way is 73 mins (X2) – 146 mins Return home.

146 mins (travel time) + 30 mins (show time) = 176 mins (total time)

250 (show budget) / 176 (total time) = $1.42/min X 60 (1 hour) = 

$85.22 (per hour)

THIS MEANS MY $250 GIG FOR 30 MINS WAS ACTUALLY:

$42.61.

BUS FARE

Bus fare is $3 each way $6 Return.

$250-6= $244 ( that’s $1.38 per minute with 176 mins total travel time)

 

So…….

Driving after gas and everything you are making: $2.60/ min – $156/hr $78/30min  

Bus after bus fare and all you are making: $1.38/ – $82.80/hr $41.40/30 mins

 I am not sure how confusing all of this is, like I said it popped in my head and started thinking of it, but the numbers (if they are right) don’t lie, driving is better with gas and everything by almost double. There are always other factor’s that can go for each side. Bus you can drink, downside you can spend your pay cheque in the bar. Bus you can write a whole new act on the crazy people that are out there. 

 In the end I think it’s best to do what everyone does already and just be friend someone who has a car and offer them $5 for gas, but if you believe that time is money, get a car. 

 

4 Reason’s why you should not read my blog.

Everyone is making lists on line so I figured I will make one also:

1. I don’t know how to blog.

2. I never read over my work.

3. I am not one for lists.

4. This was going to be 10 reasons but I lost interest after 3.

The Origin of “Hipsters”- A immigrants hate for Hippies

I wrote a article about it but it was weird so I deleted it…

Anyways I have fallen back into my ways of not “blogging” or whatever so maybe one day I will re-write the Hipsters thing, until than I just want to let you all know that I have been working with Garrett Jamieson and we have started a new thing called “Acting out Tweets” where we take Tweets and film screen plays form them, they are weird so check them out.

Check out Acting out Tweets

Straight to USB Taping

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Also June 4th I will be doing a USB Taping with a bunch of Toronto comics it will be a good time so if your free on a Tuesday night come check it out

Heavens a Open Mic

9pm

$10

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I forgot what I wanted to Blog About BUT I have new stuff coming up

I had this idea I wanted to talk about but I can not remember what it was so I will just let you know that things have been happening and here is a little update:

New Podcast Which is released every Friday thanks to “Pod Almighty”- The Spam Show

New Web series in the making “Garrett and Mark’s THe Project”Image

 

There is a bunch of news on shows which will be updated as the dates get closer,

If I remember what the idea was I will blog and keep you posted. Thanks for reading and see you at some shows or something…

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